


Candles are a fire hazard

by Septdeneuf



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Fluff, M/M, RvB Fluff Week, like really just fluff I can't come up with anything else to describe this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 06:58:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6646837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Septdeneuf/pseuds/Septdeneuf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>RvB fluff war prompt: Tucker is a fan of overblown romantic gestures. Wash is not. But he has to admit, this dinner Tucker put so much work into is very sweet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Candles are a fire hazard

"If you don't get away from that fucking desk right now, I will fucking stab you." 

Wash looked at the hand holding a deactivated plasma sword handle right between his face and the data pad he'd been entering his report into. Contemplated how likely it was that he'd really get stabbed if he just finished writing. He doubted that Tucker would actually want to hurt him, and even if he did, it was likely that the freelancer would be able to defend against such an attack before it could cause serious damage.

But the real question was, of course, was he willing to put Tucker into a stabbing sort of mood. 

"And since when is office work an offense punishable by stab?", Wash asked. The way Tucker was holding his sword handle it would be easy to just hit his wrist and make him drop it, but that would definitely put Tucker in a stabby mood, even if he couldn't put it into practice anymore at that point. 

"Dude, don't tell me you forgot", Tucker groaned. 

Wash looked questioningly up at him, and watched his teammate's expression morph from annoyed to exasperated as he realized that the freelancer really had no idea what he was talking about. 

"You were supposed to come to my quarters, we talked about it at breakfast…" Tucker prompted. 

"Oh, well, yeah, but that's at 2100." Wash hadn't actually forgotten, he'd in fact spend most of his time during training today wondering if Tucker was aiming for a date or just a scheduled booty call. Even though their entanglement of sorts had started a few weeks ago, Wash wasn't quite sure where they stood, at a relationship level. 

Tucker just pointed at one of the screens on the wall that was displaying a big digital clock. _21:29_

"Oh." 

"Yeah, right. _Oh_ ", Tucker snapped. The sword handle vanished from Wash's view and he put down his datapad guiltily. If Tucker hadn't shown up it probably would've been another half hour before Wash had noticed that he was late, so the aqua soldier had a reason to be upset with him.

Wash turned around in his chair to get up and apologize, but before he could get a word in edgewise, Tucker's shoulder was suddenly poking into his belly and then Wash found himself in a fireman's carry staring at the floor. All of his instincts were screaming at him with ways in which to incapacitate his enemy from this position, and he resolutely pushed all of them down. 

"Tucker, what the hell, you can't do something like that without asking, Just now, my first instinct was to seriously hurt you", Wash complained from his new vantage point. Tucker started walking, and Wash grabbed his helmet from the desk.

"Well if you're gonna go that route, we should talk about safewords first, dude." 

"Tucker!", Wash shrieked, glad that no one had been around to hear that. He wasn't sure if their relationship was much of a secret anymore, but he didn't really want to fuel the gossip mills any further than was unavoidable. 

"What, we should. You don't want to be in a situation where you need one and just mumble out some blabla because you don't know what to say. Trust me, I nearly got my dick broken once because of that." 

"Penises do not actually contain bones, even if they are called boner, Tucker." 

"No, but like the covering of the corpora cavernosa, you know the stuff where the blood is in? That can like tear, and then blood just goes under the skin and shit, it's supposed to be really painful." 

"How do you know that?" Not that Wash was impressed or anything, but he certainly hadn't heard of that before. 

"Dude, I'm the doctor of loveology, I'm like obligated to know that." 

"Right." Wash had discovered that Tucker's boasts of virility weren't quite as overblown as he thought, but he hadn't assumed that it would extend to that kind of knowledge. 

Speaking of things that were unexpectedly impressive, Tucker seemed to have no issue at all carrying Wash, even though he wasn't exactly the smallest guy around, wearing full power armor, except for the helmet he still had dangling from his hand. Of course, Tucker was in armor, too, so he had help, but Wash had a sneaking suspicion that had he tried this back before they'd crashed on Chorus, he wouldn't have been able to carry Wash nearly as far. Not that Wash found that particularly attractive or anything (he totally did). 

Still, this didn't need to go on. They'd already passed a federal army recruit in the hallway who had stopped for a double take at the bad ass freelancer/drill sergeant being carried around like a sack of potatoes. "Tucker, put me down." 

"Not a chance, you'll just run back to the stupid office to finish whatever the fuck you were working on." 

"I wouldn't!", Wash protested. Though he had been nearly done with that report, if he could just go back real quick he could add the last few details and send it off so that General Kimball would have it on her desk by morning… 

"You totally would, you're like the picture they put in the dictionary next to 'workaholic'."

"They don't actually put pictures in dictionaries, Tucker." 

"You've obviously never seen Caboose's dictionary." 

"Caboose has a dictionary?" 

"Yeah, doesn't really help though. If you thought an illustrated field guide could be confusing to him, don't even get me started on illustrated definitions." Wash had never seen said field guide, but he'd heard enough from Caboose about misleading pictures that he was almost curious what actually looked like, and where exactly the communication errors originated, with the reader or the illustrator. Wash had a feeling it would probably be both. 

"Seriously, though, put me down", Wash repeated, when they passed a group of soldiers who all looked at them quizzically.

"Nah, we're almost there." 

'Almost there wasn't' quite an apt description but Wash gave up the fight when they passed Andersmith who gave no specific reaction to Wash's situation, and just saluted like he would've if Wash had been on his own two feet. He did his best to return the salute, but he doubted it looked all that formal. Apparently Smith accepted it as his cue to stop saluting and be on his way. 

Wash was only let down when they finally arrived in front of Tucker's door. He was very glad to be back on his feet. Tucker typed a code into the keypad, and when the door fell open, Wash's jaw did, too. 

Tucker's room wasn't particularly big, but he'd somehow managed to cram a big crate into it, flanked by two smaller boxes with little seat pillows on them. The big crate was covered in what was probably a bed sheet working as a table cloth for the evening. There were two plates set, covered with another two plates upside down to keep the heat in, and between them was one candle. It looked like it had taken a lot of work to put together and Wash suddenly felt several orders of magnitude more guilty about being late and nearly forgetting to show up at all. 

A real candle light dinner was not what Wash would've expected of Tucker, and he felt oddly warm at the thought that he'd put in all of this work just for _him._

What he said wasn't quite as sappy. 

"Did you leave that candle unattended? That's a fire hazard." _Smooth, Wash._

"Oh my god, can't you just relax for like one second?", Tucker groaned. He made his way past Wash, and sat down on the further of the boxes. Wash followed him in, closing the door behind him and sat down on the other crate. Fire hazard though it was, the candle basked the room in a golden glow that gave Tucker's skin an even warmer brown tone than usual. Wash may or may not have been falling a bit in love with the candle just for giving him this view. 

"You didn't have to do all this", Wash said, unfolding his napkin and putting it down on his lap. 

"Kinda did, the only thing that's sorta like a restaurant around here is the mess hall, and that's just not date night material." 

"So, this is really a date?" _Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush._

"Dude, what the fuck else does this look like?" Tucker rolled his eyes, while Wash was failing at not blushing. He'd had his doubts about whether they were just having casual sex or if they were really dating, because Tucker was so flippant about things that sometimes it was hard to tell, but this definitely answered it. 

"Alright, so, you ready for my awesome cooking skills?", Tucker asked, before lifting up the plate covering Wash's food with a flourish. It… didn't quite look like Wash was expecting. Not that he'd had any specific expectations, but, well… if he'd had any, blue mush wouldn't have been among them. There was a piece of chicken covered in gravy and various grilled vegetables, but their great look and smell didn't quite distract from the weird color of whatever that other stuff was. 

"What is that?", Wash asked, pointing at the blue mass. 

"Oh it's this weird Chorus vegetable, they said in the kitchen it's kinda like sweet potato, except not really. But they say it's really good." 

"Is it supposed to be that color?" 

"Of course, we're blue team." 

"That doesn't really answer whether or not it's safe to eat", Wash pointed out. 

"Yeah it's fine, it's always that color, I asked", Tucker reassured him, and proved his point by shoveling a forkful of the weird stuff into his mouth. Encouraged by that, Wash tried it himself. It was actually pretty good. Not really like sweet potato except for the texture, the taste reminding him more of broccoli of all things, but he really liked it. 

"This is really good", he said as he was trying the rest of the vegetables, for all of which his statement held true. The same could be said for the meat. 

"Of course it is, I made it", Tucker said smugly, but the proud smile lighting up his face was genuine. 

"I had no idea you could cook." 

"Well there's not much you can do when all the ingredients you have are MREs", Tucker said .

"True I guess. But seriously, you didn't have to go through all this trouble for me", Wash said seriously. Being in a war on a far away planet wasn't exactly a place normal dating conventions could be easily held up, and Tucker didn't need to do anything to woo Wash like this, anyway. Wash had already been sufficiently wooed. 

"I know. But you like it, right?"

Wash couldn't help the smile that spread across his face at that. "I guess I do." It was so strangely normal, sincere and romantic, a kind of thing Wash had given up on hoping for a long time ago. Romance wasn't something you could spare any thought on having your mind torn apart by an AI and spending years trying to get revenge on the people responsible for it. 

"Well, then, just leave it up to me how much trouble I go to." Tucker looked pleased with himself, almost impossibly attractive in the candlelight, and Wash had no idea how he deserved to have someone like that do something like this for him. 

 

"Alright then." Scooping some more blue mush onto his fork, Wash thought, he could get used to this.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to Goodluckdetective for the prompt! Hope you like it. 
> 
> Also, I'm looking for more prompts, so if anyone needs some teeth rotting fluffiness delivered this week, hit me up! (kyuunonana.tumblr.com)


End file.
